Hating How You Look: Deal with Body Image Whiplash

Coping With Body Image in a Fitness World

How is it that one day you can look great, your clothes fit right, skin on point and you’re full of energy and optimism. Only for less than twenty four hours later you are looking in the mirror tearing yourself apart while you see a reflection that just makes you want to cry?

What’s really changed in that period that has resulted in a mood u-turn quicker than me driving by a Starbucks after a week in the mountains?

I think the answer we all know but have a hard time believing is that probably nothing has changed… physically at least. What’s more likely is your perception has changed and that can annoyingly be influenced by things like hormones (luteal phase, we see you and your lies), your mood or energy (a crappy nights sleep or some bad news) or simply the way you are talking to yourself (an off the cuff comment, too much time on social media or trying that old dress on that doesn’t quite fit anymore).

And the most frustrating part? You know it’s irrational. You know your perception is skewed. But logic and body image don’t always RSVP to the same party and the results, from my over qualified poor body image brain, can mean a lot of wasted time being sad in the pursuit of, well… nothing.

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Living in a world obsessed with aesthetics (and pretending it’s not)

As someone who’s been in the, at times quite frankly scary, health and fitness space for years, both as a trainer, content creator and just girl trying to enjoy life not worrying about looks it’s wild how much I still struggle (and therefore relate) to how hard it is to just not take it all too seriously.

If you’ve been around here for a while you’ll know I used to think that once I lost weight that all my problems would be solved… yet here I am feeling deeper in it than ever and rather short changed for my efforts.

In some ways it’s understandable. I realised after a couple of blissfully ignorant years of naivety that being in a smaller body didn’t change anything. Why? Well, goalposts move and if you tend to be a great self critic then you’ll never really have achieved anything. The social media algorithms churn out new ideals before my 35 year old brain has had a chance to catch on to the last one and our brains love a good crisis. But the real kicker is that physically changing only changes the outside when maybe it’s the brain chemistry that requires a bit more effort to alter?

So as I sit at my laptop writing this at a cafe in town after walking here with every step echoed by the luteal phase thoughts about how ashamed I was of my legs in shorts (yes, the legs that carry my up mountains and run crazy distances), I thought I would share with you a few things I’ve learned. Not in a preachy, “I have it all figured out” kind of way, but in a “here’s what’s getting me through this week” kind of way because I know I’m not alone in these struggles.

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The Good - What Helps In Moments of Body Image Oblivion

• Just move.
  I know the urge can be to either wallow in self pity on the bed or go the extreme opposite and thrash yourself in the gym as some type of punishment but neither are helpful, as tempting as they are. What does help is just doing what feels doable right now. If that’s following your gym program because you know you’ll feel better afterwards then go for it. If thats going for short walk around the block and getting some fresh air that’s also perfect. Movement because it feels good to you is the goal because 9.9 times out of 10 you will feel better for doing something.

• Reducing consumption
  Yup, I said it… reduce consumption, but not of the food kind. Nearly always these thoughts coincide with waaay too much time spent giving myself the ability to compare. In the world we live in, that’s usually some form of social media so checking myself and not allowing myself to endlessly scroll or even go on social media is crucial. Be aware of where you’re spending your time, what’s filling your cup and what’s draining your energy.

• Knowing my own red flags.
  I expect certain times to feel harder, like when I have to wear ‘normal’ clothes instead of activewear, or during the luteal phase when my brain starts narrating negative news headlines like the Daily Mail. Expecting these times helps me soften the self-talk instead of spiralling into “Why am I like this?”

• Wearing clothes that fit.
  Not the ‘goal body’ version. Not the ‘this used to fit me’ shorts. Just clothes that fit comfortably and don’t stress me out.

• Just talk.
  To friends. To my partner. To someone. Just saying it out loud is sometimes enough to reduce the weight on your shoulders. It’s not about someone telling you it’s all in your head (because we wouldn’t believe that anyway), but just clearing a little more space in your brain for more important things and on that note spending time with your comfort people will always help.

The Bad - What To Avoid

• The triggers.

  Resist the urge to stare at yourself in bad lighting for 20 minutes, checking your reflection in every window you pass and trying on those uncomfy clothes. Stop giving it airtime until you’re feeling better and instead direct your energy elsewhere.

• Trying to back your thoughts up with data.

  What are you trying to achieve here… whatever it is, it’s not going to work. Put the measuring tape down, walk away from the scales and resist the temptation to body check.

• Doing nothing.

  My last resort ‘go to’ is just to be a bit tougher on myself. Imagining I’m standing at a fork in the road with one direction leading to the wallowing and misery and the other doing something, literally annnnything that will move me forward. If you have a 50:50 choice you’d be a fool to take the easier route that’s going to lead you nowhere at all. So time to get up and take even the smallest of steps in the right direction and in most instances momentum builds momentum.

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Ultimately, life’s to damn short

This is the thing I come back to again and again: yolo.

It really is true that the way your body looks is the LEAST interesting thing about you. When I think about the most important friends and family in my life I couldn’t care less what they look like. I love them for the memories we share together, the people they are and how inspiring I find them. Additionally, we truly are our own worst critics and no one is judging you as hard as you are yourself!

I don’t have an easy solution, just some things that have worked for me whilst navigating this wild journey myself. But I do have this: every time I speak openly about this stuff, someone messages me and says, “I thought it was just me” so remember it’s not just you.

You’re not broken. You’re just living in a culture that profits from your self-doubt and bombards you with subtle perfection. Maybe the most radical thing you can do might just be… liking yourself anyway.

If this resonates share it with someone who needs to hear it. And if you’ve got tools or perspectives that help you navigate body image wobbles, I’d love to hear them, community beats comparison, every time.

Be kind to yourselves,
Lucy 🩵